"I celebrate myself, and sing myself,
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you."

Monday, November 22, 2010

To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom

"Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom."

As I end the day today, I try hard to internalize this quote.
But it is difficult, because I feel fear.
To explain, I hope in a short and bittersweet matter: I had to check some details and facts about a medical procedure I have to have in about a week tonight, and ended up reading through the steps of these (a combined procedure) procedures in detail and the preparations I have to do before, as well as what the results could be.
I have known about what I will have to do for some weeks, and had finally done a good job of putting it out of my head until tonight.
So all the not so fun details and fears and an image of me in a violating position in front of doctors came flooding back over me and I sort of feel panicked again.

And so the quote...

Especially in this case, since the fear I have is for something I can't control or change, and something that is to come. I cannot agonize over something that is out of my hands, and it will do no good to anticipate the worst or over analyze the situation.
Instead I need to once again put it out of my head and go on living my life for the next week.
When it comes, I will surrender to those who have greater expertise than me and my health and best interest ( I hope) at heart and go through what I have to, then be done with it (hopefully).
Its as simple as that......

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