Its been a bit of a stressful week or couple of weeks. Nothing too important or life changing, just feeling run down and a bit neglected or forgotten at times.
But, tonight I finally feel more relaxed than I have in days. Nothing has really changed, per say, except that I guess I feel like I'm starting to learn to let go a little. I am a person who puts myself out there, heart and soul and relish in my connection with others. This I see as a positive, and I will of course continue to this. But at times it leaves me feeling a bit wounded. Sometimes I don't seem to get back as much as I feel I am giving. Of course I am not some perfect selfless person, but I do love and like to feel love in return.
So I guess I'm discovering, or attempting to anyway, the balance between throwing myself into continuously giving myself and my feelings to others, and knowing when to back into the shadows and be patient. How to weather other's storms that need to pass before they are able to give of themselves to me. It will never be easy for me, but patience is everything.
This doesn't mean that I will withhold my love and support until I am sure it can be reciprocated; what kind of relationship would that be? Instead it means knowing when to take a step back, silently always loving, but seeking peace and other joys from within myself and what the earth has given me.
And tonight as I finally am getting better at achieving these goals, I can't help but think of some things that tonight, and through all my recent stresses have made me smile.
My husband! Sometimes I feel like without him I really would feel so alone. No matter what I know he is always there for me and always supports and loves me. And most of the time he goes that extra mile to do something funny or sweet that makes me smile.
Tea. Tea in the morning to help wake me up and savor a few quiet moments in a hectic day, and herbal tea at night in my PJ's to help me relax.
A TV show that shall not be named about a group of really strong women who make it through some pretty tough obstacles. Its inspiring and entertaining too!
My comfy bed and a good night's sleep, unexpectedly catching the breeze on my face and Harry Potter movies.
This blog post has turned totally cheesy and I apologize.
But there you have it.