"I celebrate myself, and sing myself,
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you."

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Live And Let Live

Guilt Trip. Two painful little words. Feeling guilty, what is that really? Some say that to feel guilt you must know deep down you are doing something wrong. Often that is true, but not always. Sometimes people close to you, who hold meaning in your life can make you feel bad, "guilt trip" you about something that you really shouldn't have to feel bad about. Often it comes simply from a difference in opinion, and the unwillingness from the party giving the guilt trip to live and let live. Instead of realizing that another might have a different idea, or a different way of doing things that is perfectly acceptable, they take it as simply a wrong or an unacceptable way and therefore must make the other feel bad about their choice or ways.
The funny thing is that if we had a disagreement of this nature with a stranger or mere acquaintance we would never really experience the guilt trip. We would logically recognize the absurdity of the accusations or simple difference in opinion. When we deal with those who hold significant meaning and history in our lives everything changes. Emotion, rather than logic wins and the guilt ensues.

Now ive never been big on dishing out the guilt. I'm more of a spill my guts/anger type. And honestly, I think this way, though more upsetting at first, is much more productive in the end. Guilt tripping is passive aggressive. Two of my least favorite words in the english language. If you have an issue, address it, honestly and head on. I dont know about you, but I respond much better and find myself more understanding when someone comes directly to me and says im feeling this way because of this, and this is what I need from you. If it comes from a place of sincerity, of wanting to be honest because the relationship is important to them and you, then by all means. Relationships, of all kinds, are not easy. We must work at them and be willing to give and take, and most importantly be honest and conscientious of one another.
What, really is the point of making someone feel guilty? To make someone feel bad because you think they deserve it? To make yourself feel better?  To get what you want out of the situation and the other person? Does it ever solve any problems? I really think it is the worst solution or non solution there is.

What I want out of life is to enjoy and take in all the world has to offer. To live my life to the fullest and it goes without saying, doing so without harm to others. I am, of course willing to make sacrifices for those I love in my life, also to go out of my way to show them I care and that I love them. I am happy to do all that. But I will not apologize or feel guilty or badly for how I choose to live it. It is my life after all. And I think those that really know me would be hard pressed to say that I live it without regard for others or their feelings. So although I am happy to give, I cannot always bend over backwards and be at the beckon call and command of others. I am a grown woman with my own convictions, time and joys.

And so I love live and let live. Find what gives you joy and share that with others when you can. Don't make anyone feel guilty about doing their own thing. As long as someone is living with love in mind, what do you really have to make them feel guilty about? Spend your energy pursuing beauty and grace and joy.
Live and let live.

Love this song so much. Enjoy.