Congratulations you're not a jerk!

Keep your head up

Keep your Heart Strong

Keep your mind set

Keep your mind set in your ways

Keep your heart strong

There will always be someone who has something negative to say. There's always something that could bring you down and make you feel like giving up. I think we all know we have a choice; to let someone or something bring you down and make you feel defeated or to accept constructive criticism and make the most of it.

Yet sometimes it doesn't seem that simple. You start to doubt yourself and wonder how it seems that everyone else has it together and you just cant seem to do it. You feel like you just won't succeed and ultimately like a failure. 

I sometimes grow tired of what seems to be the measure of success we look to. I feel like being a kind, thoughtful, loving and gracious person is of little importance compared to the "successes" we focus on. Having these qualities is sadly only acknowledged only with a passing wave. No one says, congratulations you are not a jerk, congratulations you offer unconditional love to those in your life and  lets go celebrate this accomplishment. I guess we dont necessarily need praise for behaving as decent human beings, but when this seems to fall by the wayside in favor of other successes it feels rather sad, defeating and even confusing sometimes. 

I think I have a certain kind of brain that doesn't understand many constraints. My brain, my heart, my emotion seeks to create beauty, foster love and embrace all the wonderful moments this world has to offer us. Life is for love, enjoyment and letting your brain ponder all the wonderful thoughts and possibilites that exist. Making art out of words and photos, attempting to match meaning, thoughts and questions to human existence. I just cant really fathom focusing on what seems like mundane details that have nothing to do with the long run.

But I know we all value different things. To each their own, all I ask is that others let me be, and do what I love and care about, as I will to them. 

And to those I know who are kind, thoughtful, gracious people, I say congratulations to you. You are few and far between. Being the way you are, I think, is the most important success of all. We need many more people who love unconditionally, dont judge others, and seek to make this world and more positive and beautiful place. You make my life worth living and I love you. Given all the negativity and judgement, those who always have something to criticize us for, you truly are what love is made of. 

Riding

Riding full speed, the windier the better. Screaming another's words that somehow give speech to your own feelings. Here you are untouchable. Sorrow and anger run freely and unapologetically. Where you ride, it matters little. Just as long as it is away, meandering and free. Its up to you alone how you do it.
Distance matching emotion, the passerby hardly noticeable through a blur of hair and eyes burning.

It ebbs and flows, as the road bends and dips, interrupted by moments of pink sky and thought.  This is a moving temple, a sanctuary of self that cannot be disrupted. Speed is power and relief,  as you soar onward.

Because on your feet you are stuck to a ground that offers little push or support. You tread on, heavy with swallowing it all. They day spins on and you do the best you can.

But then you ride into the blue, flying wildly with it all coming out the sides and letting yourself finally be the most basic wonderful you. Hopefully it leads you, in the end, to a bit of quiet. Peace is not always the final resting place, but the ride is essential. When the rest fails, it heals.

So ride and be free with no apologies.  Soar and speed on to peace and a source of inspiration.
Ride until you learn love yourself more. You deserve it.

Climb

I could go up to a high point, see the view. Maybe with height, comes clarity. Seeing far down the coast on a clear day, feeling the air up there, maybe the winds of hope and peace. Maybe its just the silence and solitude. At the end of the day, it seems like, who cares. Its up to me to get over it, whatever it is, because life goes on all around me. Full speed it swirls, life unfolding. Love buds and grows, new ones are born, people create and soldier on. Who wants to wait? And they shouldn't have to. If only I could keep up.

Climb up, up, up as high as I can go. Let my hair fly, wild all around me until I can hardly see. Let the wind blow everything around and away. Try to redeem myself through wind and sheer height. So very connected with all I see, so that it aches and whines in pain, in my bones. But I cant keep up and I can't blend into it all. Always choosing a road of resistance and pain for all, I loathe my choices and inability to love without conflict. Am I an Island? No one cares and neither do I anymore. I'm tired of hearing my own voice and thoughts. I am forgotten but I almost asked to be. They work hard to love me and I let it all dissolve and come to nothing.

It feels better at the top. So clear and so cold there is nothing left to think or say. Do I have to come down? I cant be alone up here forever and I can't act like I have a singular importance to stay up here alone or have to be coaxed down. So I guess I'll just try to absorb for the moment, the solitude and breathlessness. Coming down is next, but I cannot and do not expect fanfare. After all, life goes on below and around me.  Reaching the bottom means swallowing any fruitless or tiresome words or emotions that I may still have, and carrying on. Quietly and hopefully with a little more dignity than before. Taking responsibility for me, Ill offer what I can. Continuing on with the best effort to make choices that raise up and embrace those that have offered me love.