Innocnet

I love Taylor Swift.  I know, I'm kinna old to be so giddy about a girl younger than me, but I can't help myself.  After all, we all know I'm, er, young at heart.  And i'm not going to be modest about it, I love that about myself. I get really really excited about things like fireworks and Disneyland. I like tween movies. I'm pretty silly and clumsy. I love happy endings and lots of sap.
This being young at heart thing, my mom calls it me being a romantic. I suppose that's part of it. And not in just the romantic love sort of way. I love history and especially historical fiction. I get lost in time periods and especially the women who made them up. I love old musicals.
Maybe a part of it is an innocence I don't ever want to lose. Or even if it is lost, I don't want to lose the awe, the hope, the giddy, the silly, all the feelings and rawness (as opposed to jaded-ness) that come with.
So.. back to Taylor Swift... I was listening to her tonight, as I often do, and thinking how much I love her, her songs. Not that I know her, but to me, she and most of her songs embody all these "young at heart", "romantic", and "innocent" feelings, and what can I say? I can relate.

So here is the lyrics to one of my favorites. In contrast to most songs, it describes those moments when all you feel is jaded, regret. The times when you feel like you can't do anything right. Cause as young at heart as some of us might be, as innocent, there are times when we just feel like terrible failures.
But time and a little humility can heal all.

I guess you really did it this time
Left yourself in your warpath
Lost your balance on a tightrope
Lost your mind tryin’ to get it back

Wasn’t it easier in your lunchbox days?
Always a bigger bed to crawl into
Wasn’t it beautiful when you believed in everything?
And everybody believed in you?

It’s all right, just wait and see
Your string of lights is still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not what you’ve been
You’re still an innocent
You’re still an innocent

Did some things you can’t speak of
But tonight you’ll live it all again
You wouldn’t be shattered on the floor now
If only you had seen what you know now then

Wasn’t it easier in your firefly-catchin’ days?
And everything out of reach, someone bigger brought down to you
Wasn’t it beautiful runnin’ wild ’til you fell asleep?
Before the monsters caught up to you?

It’s all right, just wait and see
Your string of lights is still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not what you’ve been
You’re still an innocent

It’s okay, life is a tough crowd
32, and still growin’ up now
Who you are is not what you did
You’re still an innocent

Time turns flames to embers
You’ll have new Septembers
Every one of us has messed up too

Lives change like the weather
I hope you remember
Today is never to late to
Be brand new

It’s all right, just wait and see
Your string of lights are still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you’ve been
You’re still an innocent

It’s okay, life is a tough crowd
32, and still growin’ up now
Who you are is not what you did
You’re still an innocent
You’re still an innocent

Lost your balance on a tightrope
It’s never too late to get it back

Water Joy

Yesterday I went stand up paddle boarding for the first time.
Yes please!!
I thought I would enjoy it since I love being in and on the water and enjoy surfing and just being active out doors, but it was even better than I imagined it would be!
What surprised me the most was how peaceful it was. There is something about gliding over the water, looking out over sea and feeling the sun and the breeze.
One thing I strive for in my life is to be present; that is to be in the moment, appreciating my here and now and my surroundings and observing the world as it teems with life around me. There are times when I have the urge to just push through to something more exciting, passing the hours in anticipation of the future.
But this is no way to live. Even the seemingly mundane is valuable, and at the very least  it is life. We know life is short, so taking days or moments for granted is really such a tragedy.
And so there are many times I must concentrate on the moment, actively making sure I am in the here and now. And then there are those wonderful moments when I can't help but be ever so present, enjoying every little thing as it unfolds around me. These invaluable moments usually occur for me when I am outdoors, enjoying nature.
Out on a paddle board I couldn't help but smile and be completely present. Observing land from water is a unique perspective ill never tire of. It is instantly calming and breathtaking.

As always I am thankful for summer and sun and ocean and the chance to get to enjoy this beautiful earth.

So, go paddle boarding!
I can't wait to go again in August in Hawaii!