There is a most lovely time of day, I believe. It eases its way in, but without a second look its gone before we can even notice. That wonderful golden hour where the sun begins to fade. The air seems somehow calmer. A time of peace and a coming to close of the chaos that was that day. When I do notice it, I am overcome by it. Always by its beauty and sometimes with great gratitude and peace. Sometimes with quiet contemplation. And sometimes with sorrow.
Any way, its a time to stop and reflect, usually magnifying whatever emotion is most present within that day. No matter how I feel that day, I am always grateful for this time. When its so easy to push aside your true feelings through the busy schedules of each day, this time forces me to bring them to the surface, and hopefully deal with them, whatever they may be.
Tonight I miss my mom. The feeling of being cared for, completely and without hesitation. Some days it feels like we give so much of ourselves, we're worn thin. No mom there anymore to wrap us up, scoop us up and take the weariness away. We spend so much of our time trying to do the right thing, and sometimes without getting anything in return, its exhausting. But we are grown adults, and so we must simply press on. At the end of the day, happiness is our choice. We must work for it, work on it and resist the urge to want to be rescued by someone else. It is really our responsibility alone.
But I think its only natural to crave being taken care of. And though we cannot demand it from others, we can ask loved ones for a bit of extra love and care when we are feeling worn thin. As long as we are aware of the risk of greater disappointment. But sometimes we wonder, is it nobler to carry on without complaint or expression of sorrow? We could silently soldier on, using logic and reason to constantly put things in perspective and, "let it go." A fine Idea. Reason away the unrest so that we can be the capable and confident people we feel we should be. And yet, another way in which we are so hard on ourselves. We must find kindness, release somehow and somewhere at times.
So tonight I am grateful once again for this most lovely time of day. I am grateful for its peace, for its beauty, for the opportunity of quiet reflection, however I may be feeling.
I hope we all take the time to notice this hour.
Soft pink, still skies end of day. What a gift.