"I celebrate myself, and sing myself,
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you."

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

"In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

I guess many people are not exceptionally talented. That sounds harsh, I know, but think about the words. Exceptionally, talented. That means you stand out. It means genius in some cases, or even just a glimpse into some way or something in a new light, that brings inspiration, thought, maybe awe.
So, yes, most people are not exceptionally talented.
I realize this.
But i crave creativity in my bones, and so seek those who not only exhibit this, but light up a fire, inspire and create awe and motivation.
So, as I read their blogs, view their creations, I sometimes feel sorely inept.
I know i have the creative drive, its a need for survival. But what can I create?
I think I have the subtle desertion it takes to recognize that something different, that something that we often seek to exude but just cant get there.
So from point A to B... ?
Are those who recognize destined to be simply recognizers their whole lives?
Or can we too become creators?

I long to create beautiful art, sew innovative and inspiring garments, create feasts that feed the soul.

 I wish anything and everything in my life could reflect that little light that speaks to creativity, beauty and that something different and inspiring.
But, am I capable? And also, am I too lazy?
Why can't it be that I just can't help it, that it seeps from my very pores?

All I know is that today I can feel the angst thriving within me. The frustration from lack of creation and creative brilliance.
I crave it and need it, yet am not sure exactly how to produce it.

Whenever i have these feelings at this intensity (because these feeling are always there, but not always so strong), I find I can't imagine that any other human could possibly know exactly how i feel and I long to be a recluse.
My tortured mind is just too complex.
yeah... ha.
I flatter myself.

I am not musically talented, god knows. But I love music. And what a brilliant creative outlet.
Its amazing how much music moves us, how expressive and innovative it lets us be.
Whenever I go to a good concert, I enjoy it, very much, but I also feel a sort of melancholy.
Because I can't have that outlet. Because I know in my bones I need to be putting something out there, in a way that really speaks. And not sure I can, or if I'm good enough, or how I can do it exactly.

Ok, so writing is definitely an outlet for me. But its not graphic in the visual sense. Which really strikes me. You can't stare at a page of writing and instantly be moved. You have to read, and contemplate. And thats ok, but sometimes I just want an instant punch.
And music is not visual, but its just so stimulating.

The other thing is, being profoundly creative is exhausting. Its like an adrenaline rush.
So how to keep it up?

I'm not sure where this leaves me.
I feel in all of my being I need to produce; in a way that is profound, beautiful, moving, inspiring and eye opening.
But how to do it, or how to keep it up?

God bless the creative geniuses; all you artists, musicians, photographers, chefs, paper artists, designers, writers and all those in between who combine these and more in a way that's new and interesting.
Because that is what life is all about, right?
Discovering and seeing the world in a new way on a constant basis.
Hell, even if its not necessary to survival, it sure makes me happy.

                                                              Some Visual Inspiration
                                                                        (me; I like)