"I celebrate myself, and sing myself, And what I assume you shall assume, For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you."
Monday, January 31, 2011
A poem to end the day with.
Though its not a peaceful lullaby end of the day sing you to sleep type poem, I do think it is worthy to leave on the mind, and let settle in as you settle down for the night.
I love Robert Frost.
I think it is beautiful. It speaks to me. I hope it does to you, too.
Reluctance by Robert Frost
Out through the fields and the woods
And over the walls I have wended;
I have climbed the hills of view
And looked at the world, and descended;
I have come by the highway home,
And lo, it is ended.
The leaves are all dead on the ground,
Save those that the oak is keeping
To ravel them one by one
And let them go scraping and creeping
Out over the crusted snow,
When others are sleeping.
And the dead leaves lie huddled and still,
No longer blown hither and thither;
The last lone aster is gone;
The flowers of the witch-hazel wither;
The heart is still aching to seek,
But the feet question 'Whither?'
Ah, when to the heart of man
Was it ever less than a treason
To go with the drift of things,
To yield with a grace to reason,
And bow and accept the end
Of a love or a season?
I was reading a magazine today which had several articles about happiness in this issue. What it means to be happy, how to be happier and what happiness does for us.
Its interesting that in many studies people did trying to understand and explain happiness, some of the conclusions that were reached were: people generally could not verbalize or express what really made them happy, that happiness was often confused with success, and most profoundly, that happiness, true and pure in form, is most often brief and fleeting. As humans we suffer from a condition where the things that we anticipate excitedly and that we believe will give us joy, do in fact give us joy upon initial reception, but usually just moments after experiencing this joy, the true joy turns to just comfort.
That, among a lot of what I thought were sort of discouraging facts about people and happiness, was what disappointed and saddened me the most.
Are we so desensitized?
In a culture of instant gratification, bigger is better, have we have become so utterly greedy and spoiled that nothing really impresses us anymore? I find at certain times, I am sadly no different. The simple things that I seek for joy, like a walk in the park, do make me happy, but sometimes leave me feeling a bit underwhelmed. Occasionally I find myself thinking, well, that was nice but not very exciting. This is truly sad.
I try to think of the moments in my life where i felt truly and unequivocally happy. Sometimes they occurred in places that maybe were grand or exciting; a ski mountain an amusement park, a nice resort. But was it really the things that money bought that made me truly happy? And really, the answer is no.
When I think about it, it was mostly always because of the people that completed those scenes.
The funny story we shared, the meaningful conversation, the simple pleasure of company of a loved one.
Another frequent contributing factor for me and my happiness seems to be nature. The majestic ski mountain, the beautiful beach at the resort. And what a wonderful thing that has just happened. I am able to name two things that make me truly happy: loved ones and nature. It seems simple, but I think that many have a hard time naming things that really bring them true joy. We can all name things we like, that entertain us or give us some sort of instant gratification, but those cannot be confused with the things that bring us pure happiness.
Although many have probably heard a similar saying, I really liked this quote about happiness:
"Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling."
Now this is different than the issue of happiness being brief in that it turns to comfort, and then quite often a sense of disappointment,
I think that happiness turning sort of placid comes from unhealthy high expectations.
It comes from a culture that pressures us to be thrilled, all the time.
Life is often not thrilling, but that does not mean it is not fulfilling.
Instead, this quote helps me put real happiness in a different, more healthy perspective.
The moral of the story is, we cannot expect to be constantly truly happy.
That does not mean that in the moments in between we should be depressed.
It just means that true happiness is wonderful, special and something to be treasured.
It is moments of brilliance, memories to look back on fondly and the reasons we find we are lucky to be alive.
And the moments in between are pleasant and also happy, they just might not be the real bliss moments.
So we need to stop aiming at happiness as if it is a station, a destination to reach.
Instead we go along, finding joy in every day and stopping to relish in those moments of real and true happiness, bliss, that we are lucky to encounter.
Now, for me, since I know two things that make me truly happy, I'll do my best to incorporate those in my life in hopes of having many moments of true happiness.
In this magazine psychologists tried to define or explain what this "true happiness" is or means, and I think they did it more than well: Immerse yourself in whatever you are doing. This state is what they call "flow". You get caught up in something that feels bigger than yourself while staying present in the moment.
And when I think about my true happiness moments, that is exactly how they occurred.
I feel like I had one of these moments just this morning, and in true happiness fashion it was a simple thing that made me feel this way.
I was on a walk to a coffee shop. That is it. It was a beautifully sunny day with a nice breeze and I felt truly happy. Being able to walk with the sun and breeze on my face, in a place i love to be.
I was present, feeling the current weather conditions, observing the details of nature around me, yet I was lost in the bigger picture that is nature and a bit awed by the brilliance of the world.
I came across this music video for Jack Johnson's "You and your Heart" the other week and I am in love with it. I couldn't exactly explain why it spoke to me so much when I found it except that it is filmed in a tropical ocean, one of my great loves in life. But as I watch it again today, I know exactly why I love it so much.
To me, it displays true happiness. It is so simple. Scenes of surfing and swimming in the ocean.
I can feel the pure joy of him being completely in the moment, immersed in the greatness of the ocean, while being at the mercy of the sea, definitely a reminder of the bigger picture.
And if that doesn't come across to you, just look at that smile. :)
Today, in the middle of January, it is 75 degrees outside. Yes, I live in San Diego, where it is relatively warm all year long, but this is very nice for this time of year.
Oh how I love the warmth. I feel instantly happy, relaxed and at ease with this beautiful weather.
I spent a good part of today walking on the boardwalk by the beach and it was just lovely.
But there is a catch. This weather feels more like summer, and so my mind wanders to my favorite time of year, drifting to visions of beach days, bonfires, beach bbqs, kayaking in the ocean and spending lazy warm days lingering near the beach. I become greedy, wanting summer here now, so that days like today can be every day.
And then I think, why don't i just live somewhere tropical?
I could be on a plane to Hawaii tomorrow...
:)
But instead I'll just have to relish days like today. Feel the warm sun on my face and take in all the beautiful scenery that I am so lucky to live amongst.
Its days like today, and things like the ocean on inviting sunny day that make me glad to be alive.
This was a perfect song for today:
Constellations, by Jack Johnson
The light was leaving
in the west it was blue
The children's laughter sang
and skipping just like the stones they threw
the voices echoed across the way
its getting late
It was just another night
with the sun set
and the moon rise not so far behind
to give us just enough light
to lay down underneath the stars
listen to papas translations
of the stories across the sky
we drew our own constellations
The west winds often last too long
the wind may calm down
nothing ever feels the same
Sheltered under the Kamani tree
waiting for the passing rain
clouds keep moving to uncover the scene
stars above are chasing the day away
to find the stories that we sometimes need
Listen close enough
all else fades
fades away
It was just another night
with the sun set
and the moon rise not so far behind
to give us just enough light
to lay down underneath the stars
listen to all the translations
of the stories across the sky
we drew our own constellations
Well, I have something fun to share today.
Our wedding was featured on a blog today!
This is a blog is written by a wedding publicist who loves to share inspiring weddings with the world and give wedding vendors some recognition for their great work!
Though I am somewhat sad to end this last, very exciting year, (purchasing my first house and getting married, its hard to top that!) I am, as always excited to see what this new year brings.
I'm excited to settle back into normal life and enjoy our new house, and as always for a few things and trips I plan to partake in; snowboarding in Tahoe, Cochella in the spring, and a trip to France in August.
Anyone who knows me knows I love to plan trips and adventures, its what I'm best at.
So of course I'm excited for these adventures, but a new priority I have this year is to find smaller, if you will, joys. Sometimes I find I am victim of waiting for the next fun thing or adventure, while passing the time in between. This is no way to live. Life is the every day, the small moments.
No day, no part of life is trivial and each day should be taken as a gift.
SO here is to a New Year and (hopefully): Living life to the fullest and always in the present, finding joy in every day and in the little things (because that is really what life is made up of, isn't it?), and always, loving freely and without pretense or judgement.
:)
I got my wedding photos right around Thanksgiving, and I've just recently had time to organize them.
Looking back through them, I am reliving the day and getting emotional all over again.
I am overcome by the love I have for my husband.
I know so many say this, and I know this, but I love how it evident to me in the photos that I am marrying my best friend. My partner for eight years, there is no one who knows me better, who always keeps me sane and laughing, and who always believes in me.
I think, how young we look. It has only been a couple of months, but I somehow see our lives flash by in my head, and I can see us looking at our wedding photos years down the road. We were, we are kids. So many things to come and so much to learn, and yet I feel in my bones that nothing could break us.
Perhaps this is just the naivety of being a newlywed, but nothing has ever felt so right.
So, a wedding, the love between a bride and groom, is obvious.
But I am also positively overwhelmed by the happiness I feel when I see all of my best friends and sisters together. These girls have stood by me for years and with out a doubt can always bring a smile to my face.
Love between a man and a woman is beautiful, but the love of girlfriends is, in my opinion, essential.
I cannot even explain how lucky I feel, how blessed, how overjoyed that I have these wonderful girls as friends. I have the sudden urge to tackle all of them at once...
And then there is my family. Words fall short, always, in expressing how i feel about them or what they mean to me. I know that it comes naturally to love one's family, especially parents.
But now that I am older I can look back and truly be amazed at my parents and all they have done for me. I can understand how hard it is to raise a family and give them all the credit in the world for doing a job that leaves me in awe. How extraordinary to not only provide for others and put them above yourself completely, so much so that they never have to wonder if they are taken care of, but also to inspire love, creativity, a love of learning, a thirst for adventure and an example of giving that is set deep within me today. I know so many say it, but my parents have really given me everything. How can I express gratitude for that?
My sisters are a part of me that will never be shaken. I learn from their examples and look up to them always. But more, and now that we are grown, I know that they are friends and, like I would do the same, would do anything for me.
I love weddings. Not only because they are pretty and fun, but because love, in all its wonderful forms is evident everywhere. The love between a bride and groom, between a bride and her bridesmaids, between father and daughter. When else do we get to have all our loved ones in one place, celebrating love and family and friendship?
I have had many blogs over the years.. but its been a while. So here goes again. I started this one because i am in desperate need of writing on a regular basis again.. without practice, things in that department are becoming scary. So here's to whatever comes, whatever this morphs into. I hope it saves me from the black hole of inarticulacy that i have sadly fallen into..
