"I celebrate myself, and sing myself,
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you."

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Is anyone out there ?

What makes something important to you? Is it only when someone else recognizes that thing you do, or it is also valuable to them to? Does it take someone else to validate something? Or can we find the value in it ourselves?
We are a being that seems to need and constantly seek approval form others. Why do we wear what we do, do the activities we do? Is it because we, and we alone find satisfaction in it? Or is it because we know others will recognize it and compliment us?
I don't think there is anything wrong with seeking approval. We are social creatures who thrive by human connection. Connection which includes love, support, empathy and acceptance or praise.
Where the problem lies, I think obviously, is if our sole vindication comes from others. We have to have faith in ourselves. We have to seek what motivates us and what we are passionate about no matter what the reaction of others is, as long as its not harmful to anyone.
But we all know that we feel better when something we work hard on, something we pour our heart and soul into is recognized and appreciated by others.
Today I've been asked a challenging question: Why do I write? What is the motivation?
Is it just an outlet for my feelings and thoughts, And will I continue regardless of what others think or even if they care to read it at all?
Is the point so that I can gain popularity? If that is so, does it mean that I need to simply write about what I think people most want to hear?
Of course the ideal is, write what you want, what inspires you and people will naturally flock to it, showering you with praise for your unique approach and world view. And I laugh.
Oh, the emotion. What is writing but an explosion of emotion? At least the kind of writing I'm talking about.
All I know is I write what I know, what I feel, what I have questions about. Essentially the things that move me and that I think are the fundamental motivators and questions of life.
And lately, mostly I feel lonesome about it. Is anyone out there listening? Does anyone care?
Does it matter?
To answer one of these questions, even if no one is reading, I'll keep on writing. Because more than anything it feels like an extension of me. A natural expression of someone who at many times, as I say, has too many feelings, too many thoughts and questions to keep inside. I can't seem to find any other way for expression I so deeply crave that fulfills this need.
Now, do I have anything to say that warrants people's time and interest? I don't know.
This thought is humbling, at best. Sometimes I think, what is a creation if you can't share it? Especially one that is supposed to warrant inspiration?
And I know there are so many out there that do it better, so why would it be me they care to follow?
But alas, I know I can't worry about that. I have to do what feels natural and what feels like me.
Because when I write that's what you get, me. Love it, hate it bored by it, whatever it may be, its me.
Sometimes its a better more eloquent representation of me, but that's the way it goes.

So I call out to  the void: I hope someone is listening. Because I care about you, because I want to inspire creation, love, connectivity, thought, and the act of questioning.
And if anyone out there is listening, I say thank you. Thank you more than you know. For taking the time to hear me, to have interest enough to listen to my thoughts and my creation.

The steaks are high, but the risk is worth the possibility of complete failure. 

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