"I celebrate myself, and sing myself,
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you."

Monday, May 10, 2010

Spend the afternoon. You can't take it with you.

The World  is Too much With us
by William Wordsworth

The World is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!

This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon,
The winds that will be howling at all hours
And are up-gather’d now like sleeping flowers,
For this, for every thing, we are out of tune;

It moves us not.—Great God! I’d rather be
A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn,—

So might I, standing on this pleasant lea,

Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn;
Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea;
Or hear old Triton blow his wreathéd horn.

It isn't often in an young person's life that one really contemplates the brevity or fragility of being alive.
We wander on, worrying about day to day stresses or anxiously awaiting our next fun adventure.
It sometimes seems hard to concentrate on the present; we are awaiting the next great thing.
But as soon as a moment comes, it passes and we can never get it back.
How many do i know who are just waiting for something to pass, or getting though the week so they can have time for themselves on the weekend?
But what we forget, is that that time we are just waiting and hoping will pass is life, is living, that is being alive!
How sad to just "live" only in the few moments that we chose, and throw the rest away.
Because life is short, its precious, and any day may be your last.
Yes, we are young, and therefore must be invincible.
But we are not.

I had to have a mole removed from my stomach last week.
It was not as simple as a small removal of a tiny mole.
They had to cut a significant part around the mole out because this mole was one step away from Melanoma. Cancer.
Cancer -that I could never have, because I am young, and fit, and healthy.

Nobody is invincible,.
And though it could have been an lot worse, I was faced with a significant reality check.
Thoughts spun through my head. So young, so much yet to do, not ready to leave.

Its almost wonderful to be forced to evaluate your life, in spite of how terrifying it is.
I thought, where have I been, what have i done, where am I now?

And I thought...

Where have I been?
I have been overly blessed and born into a family with arms wide open.
Never had to doubt I was so very loved, and cared for.
Never had to wonder if I was important or worthy of love.
Had every door opened to me to succeed in my life, and every other door to explore the world and enjoy this precious life i was given.

What have I done?

I have gone to school, learned and graduated from college.
I have traveled much of the world, though there is still so much to see, but i'm only 27.
I have discovered a career that means something, to me, and to those i teach, and that I love.
I have loved, fully and whole heartedly without reservation, my friends, my family, and with relationships.
I have made mistakes and taken them to heart and worked on being better and doing better next time, then moved on.
I have found the love of my life! And we have promised to each other to start a family of our own and dedicate our lives to one another, getting married this august.

Where am I now?
Learning how to be an adult, depending on my parents less and less ( though god knows i'll always need them in a way that every child needs their parents).
Getting ready to make a family of my own (marriage, then in a little while, children of my own)
Feeling joyful and like I am coming into my own.
And most importantly, when i reflected on my life and where I am now, i knew I had no regrets.
No regrets!
I have never been perfect, but I know that I have loved and learned and given freely of myself.
And i don't think i could do any better than that.

And so let us appreciate every single day we are given.
Every second, even the bad ones.
Because we are alive, and this is the only chance we get.

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