Life Lessons

"Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude."

-Denis Waitley

No man is an Island. The choices we make every day, often without realizing it affect someone else. The doing, or nor doing has consequences. We cannot be so naive to think that we are immune to the world around us. That our doing has no affect on the surrounding world and that if we choose, the world can have no affect on us.
This connectivity  can be of the utmost comfort, or at times it can be daunting.
Sometimes its hard enough to sort through yourself; your emotions, wants, goals, seeking a balance is, for most of us a constant effort.
And so sometimes we make, what seems the wrong choice. A choice that disappoints or does not take another into consideration. Sometimes it is obvious, even as we are making the choice that it might leave someone behind or hurt. But sometimes we are surprised by the consequences of our actions. In these moments we can become exhausted and frustrated, thinking we let one down, and of the overwhelming task of keeping others in mind in every decision we make.

It is hard work being a peacekeeper. Being selfless all the time can be debilitating.  But acting like nothing you do matters in any great way is crippling.  And so we come back to that word balance. That elusive state where all is well and even. The more of life I live, the more i realize how important it is. In fact, I strongly urge that it be a daily mantra for all aspects of life. It is a key, i believe, to happiness. Happiness, which is not a destination, or a right. "Happiness is a spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude." Happiness also has to do with choices. I do believe, to a certain extent, you can choose to be happy. It is a matter of mindset and a way of looking at things. And happiness is a balance of actions. Thinking of the consequences of our actions, the way it might affect others, but not forgetting ourselves all together for the sake of others. Because we cannot be happy hurting others and forgetting their integrity, but we also, i am convinced, cannot be happy by living solely for others.

So what is a way we can live this balance? "Live every minute with love, grace and gratitude." If love is the motivation for our actions, grace is how we carry out those actions and gratitude is our response to other's actions, then we have a good shot at happiness; experiencing our own and making others happy too.

Sunday

Everybody loves the weekend. Time off from work to do whatever you like, whenever you like.

Lots of us plan fun activities with friends and family. If you are like me, Friday nights are for going to dinner, or a movie, or social events. Saturdays are fun and somehow always busy, even hectic at times.

And then there is Sunday, lovely Sunday. It is a day like any other in most ways, and just another day in the weekend. Historically and traditionally in Western culture it is a day of rest. A day for family and worship. Although I do not actively practice and organize religion, I can't help but agree that Sundays were meant for family, for rest and for peace.

Unlike any other busy day of the week, I find that on Sunday I can finally relax, unwind, and really be present. I can focus on the now and notice and appreciate the little things. Watching a movie with my husband, reading a good book, playing a game with family. Sundays evoke feelings of security, simple pleasures and true happiness. The smell of Sunday dinner, the simple act of making the dinner. I always find joy in cooking; it relaxes me, gives me purpose and challenges me, and for some reason it seems to have more joy or meaning on Sunday. Its the slowing down, the taking the time to cook a meal from scratch, to leisurely enjoy it in the company of loved ones.

I love that as I grow older, and in this day, I have the freedom to keep the traditions that bring me joy; resting for a day, spending time with family, but I am not chained to anything for the sake of it.

I am free to chose the life that love, the way that makes me complete, free and happy. What a privilege and a blessing. I am thankful to my parents, my country, my husband and my friends for letting me choose. I know how vital it is to happiness to be able to be yourself. 

So here is to freedom and happiness.

And here is to Sunday; to family, friends, resting, and simple pleasures.

Happy Sunday!

"There is no remedy for love but to love more." - Thoreau

Happy Valentine's Day!
Ever wonder how we came to celebrate this day?
No, it was not invented by Hallmark.
It probably all started with a man now known as St. Valentine...
(here is a brief history)

Every February we celebrate Valentine's Day by giving flowers, candy and cards to those we love. We do this in honor of Saint Valentine. You may be wondering, "Who is St. Valentine"? Time to brush up on your Valentine's history!

Legend has it that Valentine was a priest who served during third century Rome. There was an Emperor at that time by the name of Claudius II. Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those that were married. With this thought in mind he outlawed marriage for young men in hopes of building a stronger military base. Supposedly, Valentine, decided this decree just wasn't fair and chose to marry young couples secretly. When Emperor Claudius II found out about Valentine's actions he had him put to death.

Another legend has it that Valentine was an imprisoned man who fell in love with his jailor's daughter. Before he was put to death he sent the first 'valentine' himself when he wrote her a letter and signed it 'Your Valentine', words still used on cards today.

Perhaps we'll never know the true identity and story behind the man named St. Valentine, but this much is for sure...February has been the month to celebrate love for a long time, dating clear back to the Middle Ages. In fact, Valentines ranks second only to Christmas in number of greeting cards sent.

Another valentine gentleman you may be wondering about is Cupid (Latin cupido, "desire"). In Roman mythology Cupid is the son of Venus, goddess of love. His counterpart in Greek mythology is Eros, god of love. Cupid is often said to be a mischievous boy who goes around wounding both gods and humans with his arrows, causing them to fall in love.

And so today we honor love..

The romantic kind, mostly.

But I always take Valentine's day as a time to also celebrate and honor all love - friendship, family and all those we love in  our lives.

So Happy Valentine's Day! Don't forget to tell someone you love them today.

A poem to end the day with.
Though its not a peaceful lullaby end of the day sing you to sleep type poem, I do think it is worthy to leave on the mind, and let settle in as you settle down for the night.
I love Robert Frost.
I think it is beautiful. It speaks to me. I hope it does to you, too.


Reluctance
by Robert Frost
Out through the fields and the woods
And over the walls I have wended;
I have climbed the hills of view
And looked at the world, and descended;
I have come by the highway home,
And lo, it is ended.

The leaves are all dead on the ground,
Save those that the oak is keeping
To ravel them one by one
And let them go scraping and creeping
Out over the crusted snow,
When others are sleeping.

And the dead leaves lie huddled and still,
No longer blown hither and thither;
The last lone aster is gone;
The flowers of the witch-hazel wither;
The heart is still aching to seek,
But the feet question 'Whither?'

Ah, when to the heart of man
Was it ever less than a treason
To go with the drift of things,
To yield with a grace to reason,
And bow and accept the end
Of a love or a season?

You and Your Heart

I was reading a magazine today which had several articles about happiness in this issue. What it means to be happy, how to be happier and what happiness does for us.
Its interesting that in many studies people did trying to understand and explain happiness, some of the conclusions that were reached were: people generally could not verbalize or express what really made them happy, that happiness was often confused with success, and most profoundly, that happiness, true and pure in form, is most often brief and fleeting. As humans we suffer from a condition where the things that we anticipate excitedly and that we believe will give us joy, do in fact give us joy upon initial reception, but usually just moments after experiencing this joy, the true joy turns to just comfort.
That, among a lot of what I thought were sort of discouraging facts about people and happiness, was what disappointed and saddened me the most.
Are we so desensitized?
In a culture of instant gratification, bigger is better, have we have become so utterly greedy and spoiled that nothing really impresses us anymore? I find at certain times, I am sadly no different. The simple things that I seek for joy, like a walk in the park, do make me happy, but sometimes leave me feeling a bit underwhelmed. Occasionally I find myself thinking, well, that was nice but not very exciting. This is truly sad.
I try to think of the moments in my life where i felt truly and unequivocally happy. Sometimes they occurred in places that maybe were grand or exciting; a ski mountain an amusement park, a nice resort. But was it really the things that money bought that made me truly happy? And really, the answer is no.
When I think about it, it was mostly always because of the people that completed those scenes.
The funny story we shared, the meaningful conversation, the simple pleasure of company of a loved one.
Another frequent contributing factor for me and my happiness seems to be nature. The majestic ski mountain, the beautiful beach at the resort. And what a wonderful thing that has just happened. I am able to name two things that make me truly happy: loved ones and nature. It seems simple, but I think that many have a hard time naming things that really bring them true joy. We can all name things we like, that entertain us or give us some sort of instant gratification, but those cannot be confused with the things that bring us pure happiness.
Although many have probably heard a similar saying, I really liked this quote about happiness:
"Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling."

Now this is different than the issue of happiness being brief in that it turns to comfort, and then quite often a sense of disappointment,
I think that happiness turning sort of placid comes from unhealthy high expectations.
It comes from a culture that pressures us to be thrilled, all the time.
Life is often not thrilling, but that does not mean it is not fulfilling.
Instead, this quote helps me put real happiness in a different, more healthy perspective.
The moral of the story is, we cannot expect to be constantly truly happy.
That does not mean that in the moments in between we should be depressed.
It just means that true happiness is wonderful, special and something to be treasured.
It is moments of brilliance, memories to look back on fondly and the reasons we find we are lucky to be alive.
And the moments in between are pleasant and also happy, they just might not be the real bliss moments.
So we need to stop aiming at happiness as if it is a station, a destination to reach.
Instead we go along, finding joy in every day and stopping to relish in those moments of real and true happiness, bliss, that we are lucky to encounter.
Now, for me, since I know two things that make me truly happy, I'll do my best to incorporate those in my life in hopes of having many moments of true happiness.
In this magazine psychologists tried to define or explain what this "true happiness" is or means, and I think they did it more than well: Immerse yourself in whatever you are doing. This state is what they call "flow". You get caught up in something that feels bigger than yourself while staying present in the moment.
And when I think about my true happiness moments, that is exactly how they occurred.
I feel like I had one of these moments just this morning, and in true happiness fashion it was a simple thing that made me feel this way.
I was on a walk to a coffee shop. That is it. It was a beautifully sunny day with a nice breeze and I felt truly happy. Being able to walk with the sun and breeze on my face, in a place i love to be.
I was present, feeling the current weather conditions, observing the details of nature around me, yet I was lost in the bigger picture that is nature and a bit awed by the brilliance of the world.

I came across this music video for Jack Johnson's "You and your Heart" the other week and I am in love with it. I couldn't exactly explain why it spoke to me so much when I found it except that it is filmed in a tropical ocean, one of my great loves in life. But as I watch it again today, I know exactly why I love it so much.
To me, it displays true happiness. It is so simple. Scenes of surfing and swimming in the ocean.

I can feel the pure joy of him being completely in the moment, immersed in the greatness of the ocean, while being at the mercy of the sea, definitely a reminder of the bigger picture.
And if that doesn't come across to you, just look at that smile. :)

Enjoy!

Summer Sun in January

Today, in the middle of January, it is 75 degrees outside. Yes, I live in San Diego, where it is relatively warm all year long, but this is very nice for this time of year.
Oh how I love the warmth. I feel instantly happy, relaxed and at ease with this beautiful weather.
I spent a good part of today walking on the boardwalk by the beach and it was just lovely.
But there is a catch. This weather feels more like summer, and so my mind wanders to my favorite time of year, drifting to visions of beach days, bonfires, beach bbqs, kayaking in the ocean and spending lazy warm days lingering near the beach. I become greedy, wanting summer here now, so that days like today can be every day.
And then I think, why don't i just live somewhere tropical?
I could be on a plane to Hawaii tomorrow...
:)
But instead I'll just have to relish days like today. Feel the warm sun on my face and take in all the beautiful scenery that I am so lucky to live amongst.
Its days like today, and things like the ocean on inviting sunny day that make me glad to be alive.

This was a perfect song for today:
Constellations, by Jack Johnson

The light was leaving
in the west it was blue
The children's laughter sang
and skipping just like the stones they threw
the voices echoed across the way
its getting late

It was just another night
with the sun set
and the moon rise not so far behind
to give us just enough light
to lay down underneath the stars
listen to papas translations
of the stories across the sky
we drew our own constellations

The west winds often last too long
the wind may calm down
nothing ever feels the same
Sheltered under the Kamani tree
waiting for the passing rain
clouds keep moving to uncover the scene
stars above are chasing the day away
to find the stories that we sometimes need
Listen close enough
all else fades
fades away

It was just another night
with the sun set
and the moon rise not so far behind
to give us just enough light
to lay down underneath the stars
listen to all the translations
of the stories across the sky
we drew our own constellations

Something fun to share!

Well, I have something fun to share today.
Our wedding was featured on a blog today!
This is a blog is written by a wedding publicist who loves to share inspiring weddings with the world and give wedding vendors some recognition for their great work!

Take a look at the lovely post!

http://www.inspiredbythis.com

:)